How Did You Love?

This story is for us, Widows and Widowers, and those of us who have lost a Son or Daughter.

I pray for us all during the holidays. It is a time when our hearts are tender, and our tears fall in remembrance of our loved ones in Heaven.

When we are alone in our homes without our spouse or child during the holidays, it is a lonely and emotional time.

I’m choosing to look back during this holiday season of “firsts” and ask myself, “How did I love them?”

Loving your spouses “to the end” matters because it is about making a daily choice to prioritize their well-being through consistent acts of kindness, support, and commitment.

We put grand gestures aside and lean toward practical actions, such as listening mindfully, communicating openly, and sacrificing for their happiness. We desire to build a deep, resilient emotional connection that can endure life’s inevitable challenges and stand the test of time.

To be given the honor of holding ourselves to our wedding vows to God and each other until death do us part is a blessing from God.

If God ever blesses me again with marriage, I only know one way to be married: until death do us part. Amen, hallelujah.

How did we love? It is a question that we ask ourselves every day. And if you are like me, you wish you could have done more to keep them longer. God always calls us Home at some point, and none of us likes being the one left behind.

This Holiday season, I want to reflect on the dash between birth and death and the life lived and loved therein.

I have written a synopsis of the poem “The Dash,” by Linda Ellis. I have included the poem at the end of this writing.

“The Dash”, a synopsis:

In a biblical context, the “dash” between birth and death dates represents the life lived and the quality of a person’s actions, with a focus on living for God, loving others, and making an eternal impact. It is not the duration of life that matters most, but the actions taken during that time, love, service, faith, and compassion. The emphasis is on living a life of purpose to glorify God, with the understanding that what is done for Christ will last.

The “dash” is a time to love God and love your neighbor, as exemplified by Jesus’s greatest commandments. It represents your chance to make a positive, eternal difference in the world through your choices and actions.

The goal is to live the dash in a way that reflects your faith, courage, love, and compassion, and to live for the One who gave you life.

It is a reminder to invest your time in what truly matters for eternity, rather than just existing. The “dash” is a testament to the kind of person you were, and what truly matters is how you lived, loved, and had an impact on those around you.

From a relational perspective

The dash between the years on a tombstone represents the entirety of a person’s life, from birth to death, and serves as a reminder to live with purpose, love, and connection. From a relational perspective, the dash is about the quality of a life lived through relationships, love, and impact on others, rather than material possessions. It encourages people to live intentionally and to leave a legacy of love and meaningful experiences.

The dash is a concise symbol for all the time a person spent on earth, encompassing every experience, emotion, and memory.

The dash serves as a potent reminder that life is finite, prompting introspection on how one is spending their time. The relational perspective focuses on the interactions and connections made during that time. What matters is how we treated others, how much we loved, and how we helped others through their own “dash”.

The dash encourages people to reflect on their own lives and make changes to live more fulfilling, intentional lives, free from regret.

It emphasizes that the most important things are not wealth or possessions, but love, kindness, and connection to others.

The dash underscores the importance of expressing love and appreciation to those around you before it is too late. How did you love?

Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming soon, and even though we are missing our loved ones, we are celebrating a time of Thanksgiving and the birth of Christ, our eternal hope for a better tomorrow. Christ’s redeeming blood gives us eternal hope in the arms of Heaven.

The Dash by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on the tombstone

From the beginning…to the end
He noted that first came the date of birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years
For that dash represents all the time

That they spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved them

Know what that little line is worth
For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars…the house…the cash.

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile,

Remembering this special dash

Might only last a little while
So, when your eulogy is being read

With your life’s actions to rehash…

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent YOUR dash?

By Linda Ellis, Copyright@2020 Inspire Kindness, thedashpoem.com

“How did you love?”

Most of you who know me know that I’m a rocker. But I also love me some Gospel music with that Holy Ghost bite. The kind that when the beat hits, you can’t stay still, you just got to dance and praise the Lord.

As we gather with our families today for Thanksgiving, let us not forget to thank our Lord Jesus Christ for what He has done in our lives.

I’ve included two songs this time. One is a rock, and one is gospel.

How did you love by Shinedown

Stomp by Kirk Franklin

Larry Edge