Finding Love Again

(About the picture. Some of you will say, “Larry, why didn’t you use a picture of an older couple that would be more appropriate for the story?”

Well, how can I say this other than I wanted to portray how love makes you feel young again in your heart, and we all want to feel that way.

Buuuut then there is the reality that at 70 years old, I ain’t picking up any woman and attempting to walk across a creek, period.

It will only end up with both of us downstream somewhere, hopefully still alive.)

Prelude:

Is this writing fiction and simply a fairytale and subjective, or is it Non-fiction and factual and meant to inform and guide us? Whatever it is, it’s undoubtedly part of expressing lament as you move forward with grief and sorrow attached to your life. What an exciting place to be as you learn to love again in a brave new world.

It’s a process:

Widows and Widowers know all too well the complexity of starting over again after the death of their beloved spouse. This is a very tedious endeavor that involves its fair share of complexities, safely navigating grief while embracing new possibilities for love and friendship.

This process is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. It’s a process cultivated by personal desire and the needs it fills in our own minds. We must all proceed at our own pace, with no set timeline, and most importantly, don’t expect miracles to happen overnight. This is a very emotional time to navigate.

Key steps include fostering self-happiness first. Start re-engaging in the things in life that make you happy. Get to a place where you are open to new connections, whether through friends, church, community, or just random encounters, without feeling guilty.

There will be plenty of advice heading your way, such as “it’s too early for you to be dating “ or even “it’s been a long time, you should consider dating.” The reality is there is no “right” time to start dating or making new friends; it is a personal choice based on your emotional readiness, not societal pressure.

Experiencing joy in a new relationship does not diminish the love or memories of your late spouse. A new relationship can coexist with the past. When dating, be upfront about your loss, but allow yourself to enjoy new experiences without immediately comparing them to the past.

Find your path to success. Volunteer, take classes, or join groups that interest you. This provides a natural, low-pressure way to meet people. Connect with others who understand the loss, as they can provide unique support and companionship.

Communicate your needs and boundaries early. Be aware that the right partner will respect your past and your grief process.

Ensure you are happy on your own so that a new relationship adds to your life rather than filling a void. Use caution and be optimistic as well. Take things slowly to ensure compatibility.

Grief is not linear. You may feel ready one day and overwhelmed the next, which is normal.

Use caution when meeting new people whom you don’t know that well. Always initially meet solely in public places, never in private circumstances.

You should always consider counseling or support groups like Griefshare if you are struggling with the transition.

The connection:

Finding both love and friendship in one person is considered rare, a “once in a lifetime” occurrence. We all want “lightning to strike twice” in our hearts to once again find the ideal connection that effortlessly merges into romantic affection with deep feelings of companionship, trust, and mutual support.

This kind of partnership is something that only God could orchestrate. Only He can bring two people together in a lasting bond where partners act as best friends, providing stability, laughter, and shared growth in both joyful and challenging times.

The art of Combining Love and Friendship is something that I’ve already experienced with my wife, and she made this transition possible for both of us with ease. There was never any doubt that our union was God-sent.

Finding this, where a partner is also your best friend, is a significant life success, creating an unbreakable, secure foundation. This partner acts as a confidant, offering empathy on tough days and celebrating successes, making daily life easier and more peaceful. This connection is not about finding perfection, but rather about building together, overcoming obstacles, and encouraging each other to achieve dreams. It blends the comfort of knowing someone deeply with the excitement of romantic love, creating a sense of being truly seen and valued.

Such relationships are often described as finding your Soulmate and having a deep, spiritual connection, in which both individuals feel a strong, magnetic, and, at times, effortless attraction and understanding of each other.

The foundation is built on trust, shared values, and alignment mentally and emotionally. It requires conscious effort to put the partner first, work through challenges, and intentionally nurture both the romantic and platonic aspects of the relationship.

The focus is on finding someone to grow with rather than a perfect, flawless person.

This combination of deep friendship and romantic love ensures a relationship that can weather any storm and provides a fulfilling, lasting, and meaningful partnership.

With this said, I know it can be done because I’ve found it once, and although it is rare, it is out there waiting for you. I also genuinely believe that God will search your heart and determine if you are ready to receive such an essential blessing in your life. If you are not prepared, then God will get you ready with the things you need in the waiting. He will repair your heart and mind through your prayers and obedience to Him. Keep praying through until a miracle happens. Yes, I said it right, “until your miracle happens.”

This song is dedicated to my wife, Christa. It was one of her favorite songs especially the last ten years of her life. She would tell me when you were on the road working, I would occasionally listen to this song and think of you at night when we were both miles apart, sleeping alone.

Larry Edge